Phew, what a misery, living next door to my ex-boyfriend. Never mind, if I go over to the pub the back way, across the fields, he'll never have to know that I've got a new potential love interest ...

Oh God, what are you DOING here? I'm not going anywhere important, just out for a walk, actually. What, this old thing? I've had it years, don't be so paranoid - I'm NOT all dressed up! And anyway, it's nothing to do with you where I go now... Is it? Ohh, so you like the look of me now, do you? Perhaps you shouldn't have dumped me then!

Hmmm, I'd forgotten how attractive you are when you're jealous. Mmmm, perhaps the pub wasn't such a good idea after all. But couldn't you just have come calling in a normal way? Do you have to be so...dramatic?