Her rise through the ranks had been meteoric. Formula 3000. Formula E. Formula 7A. Now the pinnacle of racing. Of course, she had money behind her- her own money, from her hair straightening empire. Of course, she had had to buy a racing team, get a new car specifically built around her diminutive stature and curvaceous shape. And course, she was a pretty fair to middling racing driver, no-one would deny her that.

But today, at the Chinese Grand Prix, first of the season, the secret was finally out. Cheating! Industrial, whole-scale cheating! Hydrogenated fats added to the petrol, illegal active aerodynamics, electric motor boosts, the works! It was too much! She had to be taught a lesson!