Even she had to admit that Lordelpus Hall wasn't the most exciting of stately
homes. It had a few 16th century cornices and corbels, a few medieval beams and
a brick or two that might once have been witness to a visit by Henry VIII. But
she loved her job! Hob-nobbing with the nobility, showing people around, revelling in
her mastery of fact and trivia, showing off how connected she was to the upper
Putting snotty brats and noveau rich tourist in their place was the
bonus that ensured real job satisfaction. Making sure no-one set foot on the
immaculate lawns, or touched the priceless antiques with a sticky proletariat
It was a Tuesday, always a quiet day, only two people on the tour, a nice
polite couple from somewhere in the Home Counties by the sound of it. They
seemed properly interested in the privvy where Queen Elizabeth was once alleged
to have paid a visit, enthralled by the tale of the White Lady, the house's
obligatory ghost, fascinated by the antiques and the armoury and the stables.
So it was more than a little shocking when they entered the library wing
and the woman pulled a vicious looking knife on her!
"Right." said the woman. "There's no-one around. Shut up, you tedious
jumped-up little bitch, and get into the corner! Henrick, give me the ropes.
No, don't worry, I can handle Miss Tightarse here, I'll tie her up, you go
collect the stuff. I'll wait here. Might even have a little fun with
Miss Primly here while you're gone. Oh, and if you head into the stables,
bring me back a bridle... I've got an itch to do some training!"
92 pics 20.4 MB zip