"Look, Miss, the rules are clearly posted. No running on the poolside, no diving, no splashing."
"Oh, don't be silly. There's not even anyone else here, and I'm not splashing YOU, Mr. Lifeguard! And what are you going to do about it, anyway?"
"Nonetheless, the rules are the rules. If you persist in..." (splash! splash! splash!)
"Alright, Miss. You've forced my hands. We do actually have a set of procedures to follow in the case of difficult customers...."
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